Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
