Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm at about main and main street
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
