i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
