That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
