Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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