I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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