The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
