whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
