I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
