i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
