I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
