just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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