i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
