People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
