Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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