So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
