Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
