he thought i was a dude.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
And then he peed in my hair
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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