OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels