Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
