Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I AM VODKA MAN
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?