She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks