he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
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Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!