dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree