Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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