OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Randomize
