Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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