I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
