To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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