I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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