Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
