I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
