are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I made him laugh his dick is mine
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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