You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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