I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize