dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
