hotel room ftw
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
