I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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