The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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