i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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