I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
