I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
