i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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