Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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