Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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