I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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