I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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