I could have mohawked her pubes.
I understand Curling. That high.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
