thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
