It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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