my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
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So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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