I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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