Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
