she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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