i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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