And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
