I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
