please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
