I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
