You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
