Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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