Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize