At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
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What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
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Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You left your phone here
Wait...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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