NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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