3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
