Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
