I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize