Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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