I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
