I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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