we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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