i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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